So well put (again) Allison! My ex said to me often after we first separated 'I hope you find someone that will make you happy', he also seemed sure I had already found someone. I eventually said 'This is not about finding someone else. I haven't made this decision because there is someone else I want to be with. The other person you are looking for is me. I left for me. (And for you, and for our kids, an act of love, just one that front loads with temporary pain before the relief trickles in.)"
I totally missed this comment earlier, sorry! The assumption that we must be unhappy and want someone else is so wild to me because I was just excited to get to know myself again!
I would love to be part of your single mom not looking to date community. Still in the weeds going thru the divorce myself, but I already left and the separation is so liberating that there's no way I want to center my life around another man again anytime soon. Nope, no thanks
Online spaces are niche for the express purpose of branding their “community.” And extra points if you can draw on an emotional pull to keep engagement up!
But it sounds like you’re really just content in your life—not looking to lament the job or the ex or the surplus/lack of future prospects. And that’s a tricky thing for an influencer to brand/monetize lol unfortunately that leaves us with an issue not unique to the divorcee/single mom crowd—how/where to make friends as an adult person in real life (though changing circumstance and the growth/transformation of divorce does leave us more in need than those existing in the status quo).
In so many ways, establishing adult friendships is even harder than dating. THAT is the real reason people should pity us 😂
So well put (again) Allison! My ex said to me often after we first separated 'I hope you find someone that will make you happy', he also seemed sure I had already found someone. I eventually said 'This is not about finding someone else. I haven't made this decision because there is someone else I want to be with. The other person you are looking for is me. I left for me. (And for you, and for our kids, an act of love, just one that front loads with temporary pain before the relief trickles in.)"
I totally missed this comment earlier, sorry! The assumption that we must be unhappy and want someone else is so wild to me because I was just excited to get to know myself again!
“I got disappointed looks when I said I’m not actively dating, or worse, the pity when they assumed that I’m lying…”
Surely the pity should be reserved for the people who *are* actively dating?? Yikes - I hear it’s a jungle out there!!
Haha, yes! I spent a couple of days on the apps and it was an immediate no!
I would love to be part of your single mom not looking to date community. Still in the weeds going thru the divorce myself, but I already left and the separation is so liberating that there's no way I want to center my life around another man again anytime soon. Nope, no thanks
Online spaces are niche for the express purpose of branding their “community.” And extra points if you can draw on an emotional pull to keep engagement up!
But it sounds like you’re really just content in your life—not looking to lament the job or the ex or the surplus/lack of future prospects. And that’s a tricky thing for an influencer to brand/monetize lol unfortunately that leaves us with an issue not unique to the divorcee/single mom crowd—how/where to make friends as an adult person in real life (though changing circumstance and the growth/transformation of divorce does leave us more in need than those existing in the status quo).
In so many ways, establishing adult friendships is even harder than dating. THAT is the real reason people should pity us 😂